Day 6 of the 21 day challenge

Right now, I’m coming towards the end of 1 week. I am still feeling motivated. Today, I’m staying home and I decided to keep the kids home with me. Save a few bucks.But the kids are already fighting and that drives me crazy.

Anyway, today’s goals.

Stay on track.

Eat regular meals throughout the day.

Mostly proteins.

Very little food after 7pm.

Where did the romance go?

I’m pretty conviced now that nothing kills romance like marriage. It’s just not such an attractive idea to me any more. I used to dream about romance and finding that man of my dreams. And now I don’t. I’m not even sad about it. I’m not sentimental about it. Jim just proposed to Pam on the office. It was romantic but I find the humour on that show more interesting to watch than the romance. But the upside of it all is that, now i get a different high. The other day while playing with my kids, I noticed that the high I felt in those moments was as great as the high I had when I had those romantic moments. And after 4 years those highs are still there. And then I thought, how nice, they will still be there for a long long time. Romance is so fleeting. And I hardly seem to care any more. Maybe I’ll feel differently later on.

I have to say, with men these days, you just don’t know who the person is. I just really don’t know how easy it will be to ever meet a really decent man. At this time, it almost seems like it might not be worth the effort looking.

Gym today

It felt really great at the gym today. I did 2 days of 5 factor fitness and 45 min of cardio. My feet started feeling too tingly at the end of the elypsys so I knew I had enough.

I’m still feeling like I’m addicted to food. Evidence of it is what happened at work today. Often when there’s food served at a meeting or a party, the leftovers are left at a desk in our office for everyone to take. It sits next to the printer. And I cannot pass that table without taking something again and again and again. Then I just had to get up and get some more and kept coming back till it was all gone. It was only fruit, but still. Its the fact that I wanted to keep eating it. Even if I could have stopped, I still had that compulsion to keep eating it. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Its the same when I went out with my sister. She had no appetite. Well, she has reasons for no appetite. But I always want more. If she has stuff left over in her bowl, then I want it. She will keep talking but all I am thinking about is how gracefully and subtly can I lick off all the rest of the food off the plates.

Ok that was my small segue into the state of my mind about food. I don’t know why that is and I don’t know if I will ever feel differently about it. I was hoping that I would with hypnosis. But I have hope that I can control my urges with practice. Every day, I’m trying to recognize the behaviours around food that simply don’t serve me and that perhaps are not very healthy.

I had a taco bell wrap today. I could have eaten something smaller. But I am still on track. I went to the gym. I had the food that I had, and then I stopped.